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Post date August 7, 2021

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Tory Whanau may have to sell Wellington mayoralty to make ends meet September 20, 2024
Tory Whanau has revealed that she’s struggling so much financially that she may have to part with her beloved mayoralty, that of New Zealand’s capital city, if she’s to fund her ever-diminishing lifestyle. Whanau was elected to lead Wellington in 2022, winning an overwhelming victory against the incumbent mayor: the evil version of Jason Gunn. […]
Ben Uffindell
Ukrainian militia receives defective shipment of pagers that just send and receive messages September 18, 2024
There’s been a major setback for one Ukrainian-backed militia on the Russian border, after the group ordered a large shipment of pagers to use as improvised explosive devices. The plan was to litter the pagers throughout abandoned homes and buildings in hopes of wounding Russian soldiers. But upon arrival of the shipment, routed through the […]
Ben Uffindell
Government directs Te Puni Kōkiri to conduct Māori Language Week in English September 17, 2024
The coalition government has issued a directive to Te Puni Kōkiri, the Ministry of Māori Development, instructing them that – in the interests of clear communication – they are to conduct this year’s Māori Language Week primarily or exclusively in English. The directive is in line with the Government’s policy – signaled when they came […]
Ben Uffindell
Government celebrates fact that New Zealand’s healthcare is so good people are queuing up for it at 5am September 17, 2024
At yesterday’s post-cabinet press conference, Prime Minister Christopher Luxon, flanked by his Health Minister Shane Reti and someone we can’t independently verify was a real sign language interpreter, announced that he had some positive news for the country. “Alright team, I’m just going to hand over to uh, Dr. Shane, because I think he’s got […]
Ben Uffindell
Heartwarming: Thoughtful driver uses indicator to tell you what they’ve just done September 17, 2024
It’s 4:10pm in the morning, and you’re in the middle lane heading north on the great southern motorway of our nation’s capital, Auckland. There are no cars directly in front of you, but quite a few in the lane to your left. Suddenly, without warning, a black ute enters your lane, cutting in front of […]
Ben Uffindell
NPC teams will now be allowed to actually use the Ranfurly Shield in play September 17, 2024
Following decades of controversy, the governing body of New Zealand rugby, New Zealand Rugby, has ruled that the team currently holding the Ranfurly Shield may once again use it in play during the National Provincial Championship (NPC). The ruling restores the utility of a prize that for many years was rendered merely symbolic, after the […]
Ben Uffindell
Police say they won’t respond to bomb threats anymore as ‘it’s never anything’ September 16, 2024
Police Commissioner Andrew Coster says that New Zealand’s police force will no longer respond to bomb threats, in an attempt to cut costs and redirect police resources to less boring activities. Coster said that threat response and bomb disposal was a “fairly obvious” area for downsizing, as bomb threats are “never anything”, a “huge waste […]
Ben Uffindell
Air New Zealand flight attendant named CEO after one year on job November 30, 2021
New Zealand’s national carrier, Air New Zealand, has expressed great enthusiasm in announcing its new CEO today: 51-year-old Nathan Guy, a flight attendant who has spent about 1200 hours on the job. Guy joined the company as a fresh-faced, wide-eyed flight attendant serving now-reduced domestic routes in November of 2020, and has since spent a […]
Ben Uffindell
National Party board denies it unanimously agreed to Collins’ Faustian bargain with Satan November 26, 2021
National Party president Peter Goodfellow is today issuing a strong denial on behalf of the party’s board, saying they did not, at any point, agree to the Faustian bargain that National leader Judith Collins struck with the Evil One, Son of Perdition, the Devil Satan himself. When Collins became the leader of the National Party […]
Ben Uffindell
Super Saturday recap: Patrick Gower doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do October 16, 2021
It was Aotearoa’s first national day of action in over ten years, the first since 2010, when Prime Minister John Key tried to inspire us to clean up our nation’s berms. It didn’t work. Today, New Zealand’s berms are worse than ever. But history is not destiny, and other cliches. Today, we tried again, this […]
Ben Uffindell

Youth centre brings Muslims together to break fast April 4, 2025
Organisers and community members all coming together after feasting on a Malaysian food during the MYDC iftar night. PHOTOS: RAWAN SAADI A local Queenstown group has made it a tradition to give back to the community during the spiritual month of Ramadan, which wrapped up at the beginning of the week.
Rawan Saadi
Nuggets battle to scrappy win over Panthers April 4, 2025
It was awfully tedious but the Otago Nuggets ground out a 98-77 win against the Indian Panthers in Auckland tonight.
Adrian Seconi
Four injured in three-car crash near Waitati April 4, 2025
Four people have been injured in an accident involving three vehicles and a cow on State Highway 1, north of Waitati tonight.
John Lewis
Fatal capsizing highlights failings of outdated 111 system April 4, 2025
Two hours into an i-Catcher excursion in September 2022 the boat capsized off Good Bay, killing five of the 11 passengers. Photo: Supplied / Transport Accident Investigation Commission By Phil Pennington of RNZ
'Smoke started filtering into the cabin': Bus fire closes SH1 April 4, 2025
Photo: Supplied/Jarrad Wilson An engine fire on a bus filled with passengers closed State Highway 1 near Pigeon Flat Rd north of Dunedin this evening.
HIV self-tests to be available at NZ pharmacies April 4, 2025
HIV testing will soon be able to be done at home in New Zealand. File photo: Getty Images New Zealanders who want to know if they are HIV positive can now access home tests from the pharmacy for the first time.
F1: Lawson improves to fifth in second practice run April 4, 2025
Liam Lawson was surprisingly relegated to the Red Bull feeder team after just two races. Photo: Getty Images Liam Lawson has got one over his Red Bull rival, finishing fifth fastest in the second practice session at the Japan Grand Prix at Suzuka, 0.445secs back from Australian Oscar Piastri.
Minister's sister advised against baby formula rules April 4, 2025
Andrew Hoggard, an ACT MP, dairy farmer and former president of Federated Farmers, said he was not aware his sister had communicated with his office. Photo: RNZ By Anusha Bradley of RNZ
South Korean president ousted over martial law move April 4, 2025
People gather as they wait for the Constitutional Court ruling on President Yoon Suk Yeol's impeachment, near the Constitutional Court in Seoul. Photo: Reuters South Korean President Yoon Suk Yeol has been ousted by the Constitutional Court, which upheld parliament's impeachment motion over his imposition of martial law last year that sparked the country's worst political crisis […]
Horse trainer banned for life for 'worst category of abuse' April 4, 2025
Photo: File photo John Malcolm of Cheltenham Stables in Cambridge has been found guilty by the Racing Integrity Board's Adjudicative Committee of 11 charges, four of them relating to inflicting undue suffering.