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Post date May 28, 2021
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Tory Whanau may have to sell Wellington mayoralty to make ends meet September 20, 2024
Tory Whanau has revealed that she’s struggling so much financially that she may have to part with her beloved mayoralty, that of New Zealand’s capital city, if she’s to fund her ever-diminishing lifestyle. Whanau was elected to lead Wellington in 2022, winning an overwhelming victory against the incumbent mayor: the evil version of Jason Gunn. […]
Ben Uffindell
Ukrainian militia receives defective shipment of pagers that just send and receive messages September 18, 2024
There’s been a major setback for one Ukrainian-backed militia on the Russian border, after the group ordered a large shipment of pagers to use as improvised explosive devices. The plan was to litter the pagers throughout abandoned homes and buildings in hopes of wounding Russian soldiers. But upon arrival of the shipment, routed through the […]
Ben Uffindell
Government directs Te Puni Kōkiri to conduct Māori Language Week in English September 17, 2024
The coalition government has issued a directive to Te Puni Kōkiri, the Ministry of Māori Development, instructing them that – in the interests of clear communication – they are to conduct this year’s Māori Language Week primarily or exclusively in English. The directive is in line with the Government’s policy – signaled when they came […]
Ben Uffindell
Government celebrates fact that New Zealand’s healthcare is so good people are queuing up for it at 5am September 17, 2024
At yesterday’s post-cabinet press conference, Prime Minister Christopher Luxon, flanked by his Health Minister Shane Reti and someone we can’t independently verify was a real sign language interpreter, announced that he had some positive news for the country. “Alright team, I’m just going to hand over to uh, Dr. Shane, because I think he’s got […]
Ben Uffindell
Heartwarming: Thoughtful driver uses indicator to tell you what they’ve just done September 17, 2024
It’s 4:10pm in the morning, and you’re in the middle lane heading north on the great southern motorway of our nation’s capital, Auckland. There are no cars directly in front of you, but quite a few in the lane to your left. Suddenly, without warning, a black ute enters your lane, cutting in front of […]
Ben Uffindell
NPC teams will now be allowed to actually use the Ranfurly Shield in play September 17, 2024
Following decades of controversy, the governing body of New Zealand rugby, New Zealand Rugby, has ruled that the team currently holding the Ranfurly Shield may once again use it in play during the National Provincial Championship (NPC). The ruling restores the utility of a prize that for many years was rendered merely symbolic, after the […]
Ben Uffindell
Police say they won’t respond to bomb threats anymore as ‘it’s never anything’ September 16, 2024
Police Commissioner Andrew Coster says that New Zealand’s police force will no longer respond to bomb threats, in an attempt to cut costs and redirect police resources to less boring activities. Coster said that threat response and bomb disposal was a “fairly obvious” area for downsizing, as bomb threats are “never anything”, a “huge waste […]
Ben Uffindell
Air New Zealand flight attendant named CEO after one year on job November 30, 2021
New Zealand’s national carrier, Air New Zealand, has expressed great enthusiasm in announcing its new CEO today: 51-year-old Nathan Guy, a flight attendant who has spent about 1200 hours on the job. Guy joined the company as a fresh-faced, wide-eyed flight attendant serving now-reduced domestic routes in November of 2020, and has since spent a […]
Ben Uffindell
National Party board denies it unanimously agreed to Collins’ Faustian bargain with Satan November 26, 2021
National Party president Peter Goodfellow is today issuing a strong denial on behalf of the party’s board, saying they did not, at any point, agree to the Faustian bargain that National leader Judith Collins struck with the Evil One, Son of Perdition, the Devil Satan himself. When Collins became the leader of the National Party […]
Ben Uffindell
Super Saturday recap: Patrick Gower doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do October 16, 2021
It was Aotearoa’s first national day of action in over ten years, the first since 2010, when Prime Minister John Key tried to inspire us to clean up our nation’s berms. It didn’t work. Today, New Zealand’s berms are worse than ever. But history is not destiny, and other cliches. Today, we tried again, this […]
Ben Uffindell

Last-minute call for people to share Covid experiences April 24, 2025
Covid-19 Inquiry chair Grant Illingworth KC . Photo: RNZ The chair of the Covid-19 Inquiry has put out a last-minute call for people to share their experiences during the global pandemic.
Last-minute call for people to share pandemic experiences April 24, 2025
Covid-19 Inquiry chair Grant Illingworth KC . Photo: RNZ The chair of the Covid-19 Inquiry has put out a last-minute call for people to share their experiences during the global pandemic.
ODT quiz: April 25 April 24, 2025
Mother countries and sentinel sons — how we remember April 24, 2025
Zealandia, in her marble glory, in Palmerston. PHOTO: ODT FILES New Zealanders once referred to Great Britain as the "Mother Country".
Early voting posing challenges April 24, 2025
People vote at a pre-polling centre in Sydney. PHOTO: REUTERS Early voting has opened in the Australian election, but it brings some problems for voters and parties, Zareh Ghazarian writes.
Keep away from foolish and ignorant arguments — they end in quarrels April 24, 2025
Otago from the air. PHOTO: NASA The Otago Regional Council gospel according to Gerrard Eckhoff demands a response, Tim Mepham writes.
A rather Winston way of communicating April 24, 2025
Prime Minister Christopher Luxon is not known for his soaring rhetoric and memorable phraseology, but "a rather Winston way of communicating" is a one-liner which neatly captures one of the staples of New Zealand politics.
Cartoonist’s view — Yeo April 24, 2025
Today's cartoon from Shaun Yeo.
One team’s win streak to end April 24, 2025
In-form Clutha flanker Connor Mills on the charge against Lawrence. PHOTO: SI LEEDS There are still three unbeaten teams in the Southern Region Rugby competition after four rounds of play.
Airfare costs cutting off city: Clark April 24, 2025
Invercargill mayor Nobby Clark. PHOTO: OTAGO DAILY TIMES Invercargill Mayor Nobby Clark feels the city is becoming more disconnected from the rest of the country due to the high cost of airfares — and it seems the situation is unlikely to change any time soon.
Luisa Girao

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