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Post author By New Zealand Blog News Service
Post date February 9, 2025

Tory Whanau may have to sell Wellington mayoralty to make ends meet September 20, 2024
Tory Whanau has revealed that she’s struggling so much financially that she may have to part with her beloved mayoralty, that of New Zealand’s capital city, if she’s to fund her ever-diminishing lifestyle. Whanau was elected to lead Wellington in 2022, winning an overwhelming victory against the incumbent mayor: the evil version of Jason Gunn. […]
Ben Uffindell
Ukrainian militia receives defective shipment of pagers that just send and receive messages September 18, 2024
There’s been a major setback for one Ukrainian-backed militia on the Russian border, after the group ordered a large shipment of pagers to use as improvised explosive devices. The plan was to litter the pagers throughout abandoned homes and buildings in hopes of wounding Russian soldiers. But upon arrival of the shipment, routed through the […]
Ben Uffindell
Government directs Te Puni Kōkiri to conduct Māori Language Week in English September 17, 2024
The coalition government has issued a directive to Te Puni Kōkiri, the Ministry of Māori Development, instructing them that – in the interests of clear communication – they are to conduct this year’s Māori Language Week primarily or exclusively in English. The directive is in line with the Government’s policy – signaled when they came […]
Ben Uffindell
Government celebrates fact that New Zealand’s healthcare is so good people are queuing up for it at 5am September 17, 2024
At yesterday’s post-cabinet press conference, Prime Minister Christopher Luxon, flanked by his Health Minister Shane Reti and someone we can’t independently verify was a real sign language interpreter, announced that he had some positive news for the country. “Alright team, I’m just going to hand over to uh, Dr. Shane, because I think he’s got […]
Ben Uffindell
Heartwarming: Thoughtful driver uses indicator to tell you what they’ve just done September 17, 2024
It’s 4:10pm in the morning, and you’re in the middle lane heading north on the great southern motorway of our nation’s capital, Auckland. There are no cars directly in front of you, but quite a few in the lane to your left. Suddenly, without warning, a black ute enters your lane, cutting in front of […]
Ben Uffindell
NPC teams will now be allowed to actually use the Ranfurly Shield in play September 17, 2024
Following decades of controversy, the governing body of New Zealand rugby, New Zealand Rugby, has ruled that the team currently holding the Ranfurly Shield may once again use it in play during the National Provincial Championship (NPC). The ruling restores the utility of a prize that for many years was rendered merely symbolic, after the […]
Ben Uffindell
Police say they won’t respond to bomb threats anymore as ‘it’s never anything’ September 16, 2024
Police Commissioner Andrew Coster says that New Zealand’s police force will no longer respond to bomb threats, in an attempt to cut costs and redirect police resources to less boring activities. Coster said that threat response and bomb disposal was a “fairly obvious” area for downsizing, as bomb threats are “never anything”, a “huge waste […]
Ben Uffindell
Air New Zealand flight attendant named CEO after one year on job November 30, 2021
New Zealand’s national carrier, Air New Zealand, has expressed great enthusiasm in announcing its new CEO today: 51-year-old Nathan Guy, a flight attendant who has spent about 1200 hours on the job. Guy joined the company as a fresh-faced, wide-eyed flight attendant serving now-reduced domestic routes in November of 2020, and has since spent a […]
Ben Uffindell
National Party board denies it unanimously agreed to Collins’ Faustian bargain with Satan November 26, 2021
National Party president Peter Goodfellow is today issuing a strong denial on behalf of the party’s board, saying they did not, at any point, agree to the Faustian bargain that National leader Judith Collins struck with the Evil One, Son of Perdition, the Devil Satan himself. When Collins became the leader of the National Party […]
Ben Uffindell
Super Saturday recap: Patrick Gower doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do October 16, 2021
It was Aotearoa’s first national day of action in over ten years, the first since 2010, when Prime Minister John Key tried to inspire us to clean up our nation’s berms. It didn’t work. Today, New Zealand’s berms are worse than ever. But history is not destiny, and other cliches. Today, we tried again, this […]
Ben Uffindell

Valley edge Taieri to take title February 21, 2025
North East Valley edged Taieri by 13 runs to claim the Dunedin premier grade T20 title in a thrilling final at Logan Part on Thursday night.
Adrian Seconi
Joseph determined not to be caught out by clock again February 21, 2025
Highlanders coach Jamie Joseph. Photo: Peter McIntosh Jamie Joseph promises the Highlanders will not be caught by the clock when they host the Blues tonight.
Rojas to bolster Phoenix February 21, 2025
Marco Rojas. Photo: Getty Images All Whites forward Marco Rojas has returned to the Phoenix as the Wellington side look to claim their first win against firm favourites Auckland FC.
Plenty to play for despite final spot already secured February 21, 2025
Bella James. File photo: Linda Robertson Don't count, don’t care?
Adrian Seconi
De Groot fizzing for hefty challenge at home February 21, 2025
The Highlanders train at Forsyth Barr Stadium ahead of tonight’s Super Rugby game against the Blues. PHOTO: GREGOR RICHARDSON "Last week, we played the Wallabies. This week, we’re playing the All Blacks."
Bats become boutique business February 21, 2025
Bat-maker Jason Lockrose shapes a bat at his home in Mosgiel. PHOTO: LINDA ROBERTSON Jason Lockrose’s garage could be considered a fire risk with all the wood he has stacked up.
Adrian Seconi
Obituary: Tony Slattery, comedian February 21, 2025
Comedian Tony Slattery on the set of chat show Clive Anderson Talks Back, circa 1992. Photo: Getty Images Quick-witted British actor and comedian Tony Slattery made many people laugh, but after the heady heights of hit TV show Whose Line Is It Anyway?, his life went into a downward spiral.
Monday night political football proves to be a ratings winner February 21, 2025
Rachel Brooking and friend. PHOTO: FACEBOOK There are any number of ways you can measure how popular a political party is, polling being the obvious one.
Mike Houlahan
Within living memory February 21, 2025
Photo: Otago Daily Times The Cromwell Mall is better than the best he saw recently in Australia, the member of Parliament for Otago, Mr W.E. Cooper, said at the town centre opening in January 1985.
Obituary: cult auteur spied the surreal in the American experience February 21, 2025
David Lynch attends the 2019 Governors Awards in Hollywood. Photo: Getty Images DAVID LYNCH Film maker David Lynch left behind the cinematic descriptor "Lynchian", described in the Oxford English Dictionary as "juxtaposing surreal or sinister elements with the mundane" and "using compelling visual images to emphasise a dreamlike quality of mystery or menace".